A Choice I Would Make

Last week, Significant Other and I went to gay prom together. I had a good time despite myself (I don't dance, nor do I function well in crowds). But something SO said to me as we were going in disturbed me. At the entrance to the building where the dance was held, there was a small but vocal group of religious protesters. They were blocked by a wall of cheering prom organizers and rainbow flags, but we could still see their signs. They had all the obligatory "Gay = Pervert" and "Faggots Burn In Hell" signs. You'd think they would be able to come up with some more creative slogans, but I suppose that might require a little too much thought on their part.

Anyways, there is a point to my rambling about all this. One of the protesters had a sign reading, "You Were Not Born Gay". As we were standing in line to buy our tickets, SO saw the sign and said, "like I would ever choose to be gay if I wasn't born that way". I didn't say anything to her then, but I wish I had.

I don't know why homosexuality or bisexuality or whatever else happens. Frankly, I don't care. The only reason I can see for trying to find out is to either prevent it or "cure" it, and that's too terrifying to even contemplate. I'm happy not knowing the reasons behind my sexuality and focusing on how it affects me. But I'd like to think that, even if being queer was something you chose, I would choose it. Now why would I want to do that? Wouldn't being a heterosexual save me from so much pain and suffering? I can practically hear your perplexity now. But guess what: I'm a flaming dyke and I love it. Seriously.

Here's the deal: assuming that I or anyone else would choose heterosexuality if given the option is to make the assumption we are unhappy with our sexuality. There are a lot of reasons why being anything other than heterosexual is tough, but there's a difference between hating homophobia and no longer wanting to be queer. Take away all the inequality and prejudice, and being queer is actually a whole lot of fun. ...Okay, maybe that's a lie. There's nothing better or more fun about it, and you can't just wish away discrimination. But heterosexuality isn't inherently any better or more fun either.

But wait! Gay people aren't normal! Why would anyone choose to be abnormal? The problem here is that "normal" is highly subjective. The only thing I can really say to people who pull out the "abnormal/unnatural" argument is that, for me, being queer is normal. I deal with it on a daily basis. It's a part of my life and a part of who I am. I wouldn't be me if I wasn't a dyke. That's not to say that I define myself only by my sexuality, but it certainly plays a part in how I define myself, how I think, and how I interact with the world. I like myself, and I like being bi. Besides, if I was straight, I wouldn't be going out with one of the most stunningly brilliant people I have ever known. That's got to count for something, doesn't it?